HOW MUCH RUST IS TOO MUCH RUST?
BY KATE NG
Nothing in life is certain but taxes, waiting in queues and rusting. For the scientifically inclined, rust is the result of a scientific process known as oxidation. Think of a steel plate as a pure chunk of steel—built as intended by the manufacturer. When exposed to oxygen and water, the steel plate starts to bond with oxygen and create iron oxide —the chemical fusion of oxygen and iron molecules.
While other forms of oxidation like verdigris do exist, most cars are made of iron and not copper parts exposed to vinegar and salty sea water.
While technically a form of degradation, some people do enjoy a bit of wear and tear on their stuff—it makes it theirs, not just another fresh showroom piece. These are the grades of oxidation, ordered from vintage cool to a literal biohazard.
LEVEL 1: OL’ RELIABLE
The intro level of rust, that most people have exposure to. Minor spots of oxidation, perhaps a roughened matte exterior—nothing that a quick sanding job or abrasive tool won’t fix!
Not too obvious, given that the car’s paint is probably still there—maybe the driver loved the outdoors, likes the old school look, or really hates shiny things.
LEVEL 2: RUSTY CHICKEN POX
A vintage that marks the true car connoisseur, or that uncle who insists the check engine light is just a decoration. This is what you trained for as a professional auto body refinisher, to restore worn cars back to their prime.
Small pits of rust are starting to form—time to bust out that air brush perhaps. And Time to get the car refinished— it gets weird stares sander, primer, clear coat.
LEVEL 3: THIS STILL WORKS?
Your car’s journey to become a rusted hulk has only just begun, much like the judgement of your colleagues and friends as you drive a corroded truck straight from a zombie movie set and onto the streets.
Restorers on the other hand, will weep tears of joy at the chance to restore a functional piece of automotive history that has stood the test of time. Perhaps it won’t sound like a drowning narwhal after your care and work. Actual protection against rust is advised at this point, and attempts to restore such a vehicle vary from foolhardy to overly optimistic.
LEVEL 4: RUSTY WRECKS
More rust than metal, only the most desperate drivers and hardened restorers would ever consider touching this questionably functional automobile.
This car has evolved into a scientific anomaly testing the limits of the tetanus vaccine, and a blimp piloted by a drunk moose would be safer— your medical team does their job best when not dying of irony.
If this vehicle doesn’t mean the world to you or a customer, perhaps renting or buying a new vehicle might be better?
LEVEL 5: HOPE IS LOST
It might not get into a recycler’s inventory, but it makes a decent plant pot.
